A week from now I will be in Chicago, as a student in the Associated College's of the Midwest (A.C.M.), Newberry Library Seminar, Research in the Humanities program. Yes, it takes more than one breath to pronounce, and yes, I have taken my fair share of inhilations to prepare.
Two autumns ago, I participated in the Gettysburg Semester at Gettyburg College - an intellectually stimulating program dedicated to Civil War Era Studies. Due to my previous off-campus experiences, I believed early on that I would not be nervous about going to Chicago. But, as luck, or life, will have you, I felt nervous and overwhelmed, a more appropriate word -- uncertain. Through my dose of uncertainty came a slew of realizations:
*Uncertainty is an organic feeling, something that is not produced by low self-esteem, unpreparedness, or a lack of confidence.
*Uncertainity is a liminal state, it will not last forever.
*Uncertainity, equals empowerment, and once again, the perception is a personal choice.
So, last week I felt uncertain. Yesterday, I felt overwhelmed. Today I feel excited. And all of it, all of the emotions, are absoultely perfect.
So, here is to my uncompleted list, my empty boxes, and my overly excited heart.
Here is to Chicago!
Your Neighborhood Feminist